The whole week has been tiring. And I doubt next week is going to get any much better. Been counting down on msn, currently there’s only 10 more days. ONLY. So yeah. Despite Monday and Tuesday being holidays, we’re still having practices. Ahh. Never mind. We all have to make sacrifices if we want something so badly right? =))
Choir today wasn’t that bad. Woke up quite late, and left home around 9.30. Waited for the freaking bus – which took its own sweet time, in the end hailed a taxi. Reached school just in time. Well actually, a lot other people have not even reached. -.-
Therefore, I wasted my $5 =( aww. Never mind, better early than late. Haha
The concert pieces – well, we did better than expected. At least it wasn’t sectionals. Haha. =)) practicing in the dance studio, and lets just say we had fun pointing ‘guns’ at each other’s reflections in the mirror. Wahaha. =)) headed off to KFC for lunch. In record time, we finished everything by one hour. Rushed back to school only to find out that only a few of us were back. Haha. And the conductor was knitting. Haha. He’s so cute.
In all, today we did much progress. Walking aimlessly around singing deo gratias made me want to laugh out loud. It was like we were sheeps, being herded around in a circle. Haha. Trying to be ah bengs and ah lians is no easy thing. Though Royston should know how *inside joke*. Haha. I hereby conclude that today was fun. Though it ended late, I didn’t really feel the tiredness after a long day. Haha. Headed back to np and showed lynnette the bag. She says to buy the pink one. Haha. Plus, it Is cheaper anyway. I wonder when I should buy. Hmm
Have to go back to school on Monday – for pw. Oh yeah we formed our grps already. Im working with shermaine, XinYi and QingMei. Yays. May our group work well together. Ahh. After discussing we’re meeting ms pw and then heading off to bugis for choir. I suppose I’ll bring along hm clothes =/ but im lazy to bring extra load in my bag. Haiz. Oh well, never mind.
So much work to do, so little time =/
Im tired.




oh yeah. i got in. i just hope, all will go fine from here

Feeling quite bored. Which is stupid actually, since I still have math and Malay homework waiting for me. Haha. Oh well, I guess they can wait for a few more mins =))
Had the SYF rehearsal at VCH today. Got to leave school at 10.30. yay! Missed the econs lecture, whee. And also maths and malay. Its weird, how much I used to look forward to the maths lectures. But now, things have changed – Im determined not to let the news affect me. Wahaha. =) talking about math, Im seriously lost. Nooo. I needdd hellppp =/
Everyone’s stressed out. Its kind of weird, being hyper and everyone else is feeling down. Ah. Had fun on Tuesday though, playing the stupid guessing-the-color-game which we made up during times of boredom. =))
12 more days. gosh. Time really flies. Its like less than 2 weeks. We’re all getting stressed up, over choir. Even todays practice at VCH, well, we could have done better I suppose. Im scared, for the set piece. =//
Oh yeah. I saw this oh-so-nice bag. Awww. Now Im torn between buying the white-green bag and the pink one. =/ gosh. I wish I wasn’t so indecisive =(
The econs test today. Sheesh. It was simply demoralising. =/ It didnt help that my question paper flew during the tets, and i had to get up from my seat to retrieve it back.
And, i made a new friend on monday. And his name is casper. plus, he's v. friendly. Hehe. Rite.. And im suppose to take a pic of casper and show it to sudi tomorrow. Hmm..

bro's being super irritating rite now. times like this, i wish the com were placed in my room =/





i just love playing imaginary, dont you =))

Been looking through my past emails. Came across this particular conversation between me and my senior more than a year ago. Reading it, I really felt different. Feeling sad that I lost contact with him, he was seriously very nice. Always giving me encouragement and support. He would point out my mistakes and tell me how I can improve from them. Though I didn’t know him for long, he made an impact on my life. Many would say hurtful things about him, but he would never let them affect him. I admire him for that. He was truly a role model. Ive came to realize that ive been very weak, letting this incident affect me the way it had.
And im sorry.. to everyone. To Syu, im very sorry if ive ignored you in any way. Im sorry I let it affect me up to that extent. I know you guys will always be there for me. And I want you guys to know that I love you guys…
I know that the journey will not be easy. However, it was my choice to choose this particular path. Whatever the results may be tomorrow or the days to come, I shall accept it with an open mind. =))
Should not dwell so much on the past. What has been done cannot be undone. I can only learn form my past mistakes, and hopefully not repeat them again. And I hope you guys will be there to guide me along. Please do. Im sorry if ive hurt anyone in the past. Im truly sorry..
The conversation stuck a cord in me. Ive realized that ive been living a dream. Should face up to reality. Not everything goes the way we want life to be, but we must work hard to achieve what we want. It is the process of learning that matters the most.




im sorry

I know that I should just ignore all these. And continue to believe in myself. And that there are actually people out there who truly care about me. That I shouldn’t let them down. But still, I wasn’t strong enough to stand the pressure. Sadly, I just could not hold back. It was just too much. They didn’t know the truth and so they think they can just say anything they want, without hurting the other person. Well the truth is, it hurts. It really does. At first I didn’t want to believe it. It never stuck me that things were that bad. For goodness sake, I do have my dignity and as much as I really wanted it, I would NEVER go begging. I know my limits. Truth to be told, by that afternoon I had already accepted the fact. But then was informed that there was a mistake. I never requested specially although I did know those in charge. Naturally I was excited when I got to know the news. Is that wrong? I never knew that that moment would cause so much things to arise. Please, if u don’t know the real truth of what really happened, please don’t cook up your own version. People really get hurt – not that these people would care anyway. I’m feeling numb now. I have nothing else to say. I used to think I could stand anything, especially these sorts of things. But, this just proved otherwise…

I’m getting sick, and it’s making me feel even worse especially since the SYF day is drawing closer. Oh no. oh well, I shall just eat all the meds regularly and hopefully will recover soon. It doesn’t help with a ear which is like so – sheesh; cant even hear myself. And friends say I sound.. erm, weird. Haha. Yesterday was the SYF preview. Got up on stage, I though I had overcome my fear. But once the song started, it was a total different story. I was trying to smile but fear took over. Gosh. This is like so bad =( never mind.. still got time to improve. Jia you. Haha. Wasn’t all that bad. I liked the Indian dance. =)) so nice.
School has been tiring as usual. Especially with the deadlines for PI approaching. Gosh. Maths lectures, I don’t understand a single thing. No000ooo. I need to pass!! And the mly test yesterday was bad =/ I guess this simply means I need a time out to sit down and revise maths. Especially with the test on functions coming up next Tuesday. And, we just found out that we would still be sitting for the econs test next thurs since it’ll be after school. Haiz. Which means after getting back form the SYF rehearsal must endure an hour of econs test. =((
Went to Ijc just now for the Malay competition. Haha. Left school at 2.30 and reached there in time for the competion, as a supporter. Was quite okay I suppose. And we got 1st!!! woots. Congrats!! And, took a lot of pictures. Haha. As usual. Surprisingly saw Marinah!!! Shes still at nyjc. Didn’t expect to see her, haven’t seen her since so long ago and I didn’t expect her to go for a MALAY competition. Hahaha. And she was shocked to see me – it took her almost a min to realize I was calling her. Haha. It was simply hilarious. Took a taxi and zoomed back to school for the interview.
In the taxi was fretting that we were late – since jelly msged me saying that it was my turn soon. Haha. We reached and found out that… it wasn’t. haha. My turn actually came at 6.20 =/ was like so freaking nervous and all. Luckily I got the other teacher. =)) At least I find it easier to talk to this teacher. Overall, it went quite well – better than I expected I suppose. Haha. Results will be out around next wed I think. I hope I get in =))
I shall stop here and go back to editing my PI. =//
To everyone out there, “ YAY!! The weekends are coming!! Enjoy!! =))”

and oh yeah - i actually dreamt of roti prata yesterday. hahaha =))




im beginning to feel, that this is all just one BIG joke

Hey. Has been exactly a week since I last posted. School has been hectic the past few days, with deadlines for homework, the freaking project work, choir and what more.
Gosh. I keep feeling so tired as soon as I get home. With tons of homework to be done and all, there simply isn’t much time to spend time with my family, go online or anything. Sad =(( its like, I’m losing touch with them. As soon as I get home I’ll stay in my room and start on homework. Its like a damn boring routine everyday. and somehow the next day, I’ll feel so damn tired.
Keep feeling so scared each time I go for maths. She’s just scary. It doesn’t help that I’m the maths rep. haiz. Though I don’t mind the lectures =)) yippee
Choir. At this rate we’re going, I really don’t know what to expect to achieve. Im getting very scared. We’re not even done with set piece!!! Which is like the most impt piece out of the three. Saw this guy who was previously in choir for the first three months. Ah. Shouldn’t have even acknowledged him in the first place. He kept talking about his school now, and how much practices they have – everyday, complaining that they would be performing sandwiched between gold-with-honors choirs .. and the thing is, unless im very much mistaken, his school is also a gold-with-honors standard. Sheesh. Really, he was beginning to bore me out. Practice on Friday made me realize, how much my OWN standard had dropped. I wish I could talk to someone about it, but I guess I cant. Im trying terribly hard to make up, but i just don’t know how. Oh gosh. Please let this Monday’s practice go well, so that all will go well for the syf preview this coming Wednesday.
Talking about syf, the school Indian and malay dance got silver!!! Woots!! Haha. And AI choir is performing this coming Thursday. I hope they do well.
Applied for the student council. I’ve always been wanting to join. Haha. Though I don’t really like the system of campaigning. Quite a no. of ppl I know applying, though those from ai im not so sure. Ah. Saw one of the councilors yesterday during the ptm. Told him I was joining council then I expressed my views on the campaigning system. He was like saying that its normal. Ah. Shall not say more on the topic..
The past week was filled with teasing the rest. Haha. Nurul about ahem-ahem. And Shikeen, well you-now-who. Haha. They’re like so cute. Even Madhiah. Ah =))
Oh yeah, I just remembered this particular incident in the canteen. I was lining up with Shikeen to buy a drink. Then after we paid, was about to move off then saw Kenley. So I was standing near the shelves there talking. Was asking him whether he was joining council when I noticed him coming up to the queue. Then I don’t know what happened, or how it happened – my head suddenly hit the sharp edge of the shelf and it made a loud noise. I was so shocked that I walked away quickly embarrassed of what he would think and rubbing my head. Gosh. Went off to sit down and Kenley was so nice, he asked whether I was okey. Haha. Im glad to have known him, at least he’s nice. Was so mortified over the whole thing that I just sat there worried that he would think im a klutz. I mean, who the hell would know her own head against a shelf??? And it was directly in front of him. Gosh. I’m feeling a bit nervous if he would suspect anything – the incident at northpoint on Thursday was just terrifying. I swear he heard it and he was looking straight at us. =/
I think, something is wrong. Keep having these irritating headaches, and I become a bit cranky at times. And I have no idea what the cause of these headaches. The worst thing is that it keep occurring at the most uninviting times of the day. It doesn’t help that im coming up with flu. No00oo. Not at this pint of time – I simply cant afford to be sick.
Lots of tests coming up soon. There’s Malay this Thursday – kefahaman. Gosh. Ive been doing so darn badly for Malay, its embarrassing. Ive NEVER failed malay before and so it came as a big shock to find out I did. I HAVE to pass. I heard that as soon as you get a U for any subj, you’ll be retained. I DON’T WANT that to happen to me. I’ll study hard for this test. I DON’T WANT TO FAIL!!! Its like my best subj compared to the rest and if this is how im faring, I’m scared to think about the others. The maths test was a complete disaster. And the next test is next Tuesday followed by econs next Thursday. though I wont be turning up for the econs test since we’re having a syf rehearsal on that day. Its driving me crazy - all these test springing up one after the other =/




if only you knew....

Gosh. I have no idea how to describe today. But it was fun though, the later part of the day.
Practically had to DRAG myself out of bed this morning. Ahh. Such thing as Saturday morning blues? Wahaha. Oh well. Was to be in school by 9 for sectionals. Left house at 8.30.. and found out that I missed the 859 bus to Yishun. Actually it was right in front of me, but I was too lazy to run after it =)) but I still ran for the bus heading to sembawang interchange. Though I HATE taking MRT, I had no choice as I didn’t want to be late. Yeahh rite, ppl still came much later Sectionals didn’t start exactly at 9. sheesh. What’s up with me and punctuality. Haha. Sectionals was quite okay I suppose. Made much more progress with the set piece. Wee. Though had to stay back beyond 11 cause the teacher wanted to listen to ask. Actually left Brahms room at 11.45. felt so guilty as I rushed to meet the rest at the library – had initially planned to meet them at 11.. which meant I was 45 mins late -.-
Discussed the PI, and decided not to see ms PW after all. Haha. I think nurul has passed on her sickness to me - I’m beginning to feel scared and nervous over every single thing. Especially about teachers and handing in work. Noooo.
Headed off to j8 with the rest. Haha. And took the MRT. Haiz. I’m scared of the closing and opening thingy. =/ I don’t want to be stuck in the middle while they close on into me. And so, I was like rushing in front to tap my card first and get out of the place. The rest were all laughing at my antics. Ahh. Cant blame me for being so paranoid rite?? Im not the only one =))
Had lunch. And went to the library to do homework. Yeahh rite. Actually was buying time until Lynard actually came by. He was taking such a long time. Ahh. Finished up mly!! Yays. Haha. Nuts. Then me and Shikeen were like rushing to the toilet. Oh yeah, talking about toilets, this was what happened in the toilet at j8. I was like so blurr that I was actually waiting for the water to gush out from the tap – I guess im too used to the automatic ones in np. Haha. Shikeen was like laughing at me lah. Wahh. Damn paisey. =/
Was reading this cute book while shikeen and nurul were doing some work. Then after that nurul read some passages out from this book. Haha. We were laughing like crazy. Never had so much fun in ages. Rushed off soon after since it was close to 5. though we managed to take a pic in the toilet before leaving. =)) as promised, i shall upload it.

im missing.. =))

Woots!! No school tomorrow!! Which means no double maths.. no double gp.. and no malay. Weee. Annd no choir which means no need to get back hm late. Ahh. Unfortunately, there’s tonns of homework to be done, not to mention studying for the maths test next Thursday and all the research for the pi which is to be handed up next Monday.
Choir on wed wasn’t that bad. Didn’t feel the tiredness that much. I suppose it was because ystr’s practice was quite eventful. Haha. Finally mr conductor said we had a chance of achieving a silver with our choice pieces, though it was without our set piece, and it’s a low silver. But, I believe we can do better in this remaining 1 month and hopefully we get a high silver =))
Felt quite hyper yesterday, especially during lit tutorials. Was asking people to smile. Haha. At least was beginning to get to know the people in the class =)) I enjoy lit tutorials cause its always filled with laughter. Haha. Though was quite pissed off about the ‘bridging lesson’ on tuesday. Apparently mr lit told us that it was compulsory for us to go. And so, we had to stay back cause it was to start at 5. we went there.. to find that only 12 of us turned up. Haha. Crazy lah. And the teacher didn’t even come lah, was replaced by this technician guy from the library. Haiz. And so wasted 1 hr doing lit essay while I could have gone home and do other things. And it wasn’t even graded lah though we will get 3 bonus points for the next assignment. And, I got to go home with him. Haha =)). Though met bro’s friend and ai-ian in the bus.
Today.. went to ljs with the whole group. Ahh. Somehow, felt abit depressed though I have no idea why. Is it bacause of the place? Or something else. I don’t know. Though one thing for sure is that I really felt down lah.. if you were joking, don’t even say it in the frist place. You keep putting me down, just to say that you were just joking. What the hell man. Seriously lah. Its all over what, don’t rake up the past.
Was debating whether to go back for bridging or not. Cause, if I went, I would revise binomial which im not so good at. And, I may get to catch a glimpse of him. Decided to go back together with Cecelia and shikeen. And weee, he was there lah. Right in front. Haha. Though he left 10 mins early and yet, when we left the audi, he was right outside. =))
Went home with Shikeen. Haha. Hey girl, maybe he thinks you’re cute. Hehe. And she blanja-ed me bubble tea =))
Shall go start on homework now. =))

*gushes* He’s ohh soo cuteee =))

gossshhh
i dont want to make a decision NOW
please

im confused
and im scared

wanted to blog yesterday. but was too tired and too much things to do. so decided against it. on the other hand, i have no homework today which is due tomorroww! woots. for the FIRST TIME =))

had choir yesterday. so much for "must be punctual.. be there by 5". the conductor came late lahh. he walked in at 5.45 and said that we would end at 7.45. haiz. we were complaining cause it had been a long day. oh well. its all for our own good, since we'll be missing this friday's practice. and syf is 4 WEEKS AWAY!!! ahh. im nervous about the rate we're going through the pieces. i'll be forever happy once its all over and we dont have to look at the set piece again =))

indian dance syf is tomorrow i think and next week is the mly dance. and on the 19th is aichoir syf date. i so want to go see and support. but unfortunately, its a school day and i cant just skip school to go watch the choir perform. ohh. i hope they get a GOLD this year =))

having practices tomorrow morning since there's no bridging for me. and also practices from 3.30 till 8. i wan to dieee. =(




oh please please lets all work together and achieve that silver shall we =))